• Free Resource!!!

Video Description

Hello Cozy Caregiver Cafe Family!

To celebrate National Bucket List Day, in this solo episode Allison shares her bucket list ideas, and reflects on the bucket list definition and a bucket list meaning.

Come along as a healthy Mama, wife, and Family Caregiving Attorney and Coach reveals her deepest hopes for her life and her family over the coming year.

I hope you enjoy it!

Love,

Allison

Video Transcript

Hello, Cozy Caregiver Cafe family. It's Allison. I hope that you're well. This episode will be published on National Bucket List Day. which is this kind of made up holiday or a hashtag holiday. something that may seem silly, but I actually think has a deeper. a deeper calling to us to think about our lives, and to think about the things that we really care about. So I thought that what we could do together cozy caregiver Cafe family on National Bucket List day is that I could share some of the things that are on my bucket list. I'm 38 years old. I married have one young son who's about to turn 3. We live in New York City. and we have such a full, full life, and I am so incredibly grateful for all that is in our life. With that said there are definitely areas where I feel like and I don't want to say failing. But I'm not bringing the awareness and attention to it that I wish that I were. And so that is kind of going to be my twist on the bucket list. because one of the really beautiful and scary and undeniable things about life right is that we don't know how long we're here for. and I don't want that to ever be a fear inducing thing. In fact, it's a motivator to say. Well, for however long God gives me. what are the things I truly want to focus on. and I know that maybe it can seem strange, like Alison. This is your life, of course, just focus on what you want. But there are the everyday, maybe non urgent, but like just demanding things in life. And then there are the really big rocks, the big boulders, the non urgent but truly important things. And so that's kind of what I see as my bucket list focus. It's these things that are not urgent. but they're truly important, and because they're not urgent, they may not receive my attention on a minute by minute basis, or a daily basis, or a weekly basis, or a monthly basis. But we know, cozy Caregiver Cafe family that the way we spend our days is the way we spend our lives. So with all of that said, let's dive into it.

One of the things that I've been thinking about is bucket list. typically or, traditionally, if you're not familiar with the term means things you want to do before you die. But since we don't know how long we have in this life. I don't want the timeline to simply be when I die. Since we don't know when that will be. We know that. One of the important elements of any goal. And that's what I'd really call items on my bucket list is that they're time bound if you're using the smart criteria. And so I'm going to say. what are the things I want to make sure that I do in the next year. Now I am healthy. This is not because I have a limited time that I know of. But I just really, if something's going to be on my bucket list, I want to make it. I want to make it a priority. And the way that I do that is, by saying one of my goals, one of my promises to myself, and I never break promises. especially to myself. One of my promises to myself is that this is going to happen in the next year. Now, here's the interesting thing, Cozy Caregiver Cafe family that when I started thinking about this, and I've actually been mowing on this for a while. The things that came through were, in fact. not the things, not sort of the general things that at the top of my head I thought with like, Oh, it'll be this, or it'll be like that, because what comes through for me, they're really 2 categories. people and experiences. And if I can combine those, it's really experiences certain types of experiences with certain groupings or certain individual people. So that is the focus. The first thing that I would say is that and this is always just top of mind. I have had this dream to bring my family, and by my family I mean my husband and my son on a vacation with the grandparents, and by the grandparents I mean Dan's mom and dad and my mom. So this is just been a dream of mine for a really really long time. And the very exciting news I know you're going to think this doesn't count. But the very exciting news cozy caregiver Cafe family is that this is actually already in the works. When I when I started this business, which is Alison Wyman, Llc. But which is the creator of the cozy Caregiver cafe that was actually one of my goals to be able to bring my family with the grandparents on a vacation, and just very thankfully, that has that has happened that is going to come as a true gift from God to our family. At the end of May in the beginning of June. So I know that might seem like I'm sliding something in there, but it really is on my list in the next year to be able to take our family on a vacation. Now to be very clear, this is not at all a lavish vacation with time right now. And with different schedules. It just was not going to work. So my my family and I grew up in New Hampshire. And so this is going to be actually a vacation in New Hampshire, up at Lune Mountain, which is this beautiful summertime area and ski resort. It's just. There's a lot of nature. There's a lot of quaint and coziness. It's just sort of. I think that it will be a wonderful time for our family, and, more than anything, I really just wanted Hudson and the grandparents to be able to go and have new adventures together in some place. It still felt familiar enough that everyone was comfortable. So that's already happening, and I know. But I just I'm so excited. And that truly was a dream of mine, and so I wanted to include that on the list.

The second thing I have a very, very, very dear. best friend, that I have not seen since before the pandemic began. We've been in touch. We've talked on the phone. We've done facetime, of course we do text, but we haven't been able to bring our families together because our families have been growing, and there is a lot of every day logistics that are associated with that she actually has 4 sons, which is incredible. And so one of my, one of my, my dreams, my goals, my bucket list focuses for the next year is to go visit her in her home with my son or our son Hudson. That's something that I really really want to do, and I don't currently have a plan for this in place. I don't have a timeline. She lives in Massachusetts, so it would be somewhat of a logistical planning. But I really do believe that it can happen. So this is an example of something I'm just putting out there that doesn't have any plan attached to it. It truly is not just a wish that's in my heart. But now that it's on my bucket list for the year. It is something that I'm really excited and motivated to figure out how I can get done.

The third thing and this is, you know, not at all surprising if you know me. But all of these things right, they're people and experiences. I really really want to do something special with my mom. I want to do something. I want to treat my mom in a way that allows me to fully give her my attention and my focus. if you've been following the Cozy Caregiver Cafe family, you may know that I go on this annual road trip with my mom. In January we drive from New Hampshire down to Georgia, where my mom spends her winters. And it's it's really one of the the most glorious times in our relationship. and something that I really really look forward to, because it's just a time for the 2 of us where I can give her my complete, undivided attention, where, regardless of what's happening everywhere else. We are in a car together. We're experiencing new things. And we're we're just having a wonderful time experiencing new things, but also with the opportunity to talk about anything that pops into our head. Now I treasure this time that we have together in the car, and I I think that it'll it will continue. It's really just dependent upon my whether my mom continues to spend her winters down in Georgia with that, said I. Don't. I love it so much, and it's really so important that I don't want it just to be a once in a year thing. And so again, it doesn't have to be a road trip, but I always believe that if you're fortunate enough to be able to step outside your normal routine, your normal home and just taken in place, even if it's just an hour away, which is where Lune Mountain is, where we're going with the grandparents from where I live. But if you're able to just step into that that third place or a new place that we shed some of the parts of us that no longer serve us, and we are more open to allowing new parts of us to to shine and to grow. I love my mom so much, and I know that that may seem obvious. That may seem like a simple statement, but it's the truth. And I I don't place. I don't always get to give her the attention that I really want to. So I want to find a way to treat her in the next year with some level of adventure and attention. And now I'm not saying like, Oh, if Alison's giving attention to me, it's the greatest thing in the world. No, that's not what I'm saying, but attention is one of the ways that I show my love. And so, when I feel like there are people in my life that I'm not able to show my love to in the ways that I want, which is, you know. on me. It's it's on me. But when I feel that way I I want to fix it. And one of the ways that I can fix this is by being very intentional about carving out a time and a space where I can just give my mom an adventure, and I can go along on it with her. And we can have some fun together. There are 2 more items. There are 2 more items. Okay, 3 more items on my list. We're almost done.

I also really want to spend time with my uncle, who lives in California. I would love to have him meet our son. And just because cross country, we haven't been able to do that yet. And so that's on the list of things that I'm praying for, and would really like to find way to to have happen in the next year. That's actually really exciting for me in so many ways, because I've never spent much time in California before. and so who knows? May? Maybe it'll be a combination of things. Maybe there will be an opportunity to explore California, spend time with my mom and then see my uncle. I don't know. There are just so many derivatives that could happen, but it's just really exciting. And honestly, even thinking about it just makes me feel eager to embrace life more because I'm I don't know exactly what these things will look like.

But I'm super super excited and hopeful, and also just certain certain that the things that are most important are going to happen when it comes to my husband. I am. I am really, really excited to find a way to have on the books routinely date nights together. I really just want to not only give my husband adventures in New York City, but I think it's always really fun, regardless of the age you're at to date your spouse. And so that is something that has been on my heart for a while. And now that our son is at an age where I feel more comfortable with routine levels of of childcare and babysitters. I I really feel like it's something that that we can schedule. We can schedule out finding, I think, finding the the right person or team of people to care for your child is is honestly just one of the most I want to say fascinating, fascinating things out there experiences. It, of course, involves a level of fear. But I also think that after meeting a threshold about whether or not this person has. like objective qualifications that you may want it. Then it really is an inside journey, I think, for the mama and the papa, of how much they're willing to trust the world when it comes to the most important person in their life. So even just talking about this makes me feel emotional. the world is a beautiful place, and I am eager to embrace that which would, which means giving our son new opportunities to spend time with new people, and also dating my husband and doing it in a way that's super joyful, not at all stressful, and something that we really look forward to.

The last thing the last thing on my bucket list, of course, involves our sun. and when it comes to, when it comes to what I want to do with our son in this time I have on Earth. where I where I end up is when I'm with him. I want to be as present as possible as present as possible. That doesn't mean I'm going to be perfect. That doesn't mean that I'm not gonna have other things on my mind at time, or needing to be, do other things that you know, during the time I'm with him. But I wanna be truly present with him, and I want him to remember. Oh, yeah. I remember mama would play mama plays with me, or mama would play with me. Mama wasn't always looking at her phone. Mama would take me on adventures. Mama made me feel special. Mama looked me in the eye. Mama listened to me. I think there's this quote about parenting, which is something like you have to be around for a thousand hours. so that you're around for the 1 h that really counts, or something like that. But I hope that I have a very long life, and I want to build a relationship and continue to build a relationship with our son where I am serving him. I am pouring into him, and he knows that I am there for the, for the big stuff and for the little stuff. Lastly, one of the things that I'm excited to do is to create a formal process for documenting his legacy and our family story, so that he has it not now, not when he's 2, but he has it when he's in a and I truly believe that in any family the mama is the best situated to to ensure that story is told. It's not that the mama's always telling the story, but the mama is the best situated to ensure that all the very important people in that story are engaging in this storytelling in some way that creates something that exists not just in people's mind, that exists tangibly or digitally. that incorporates that story. So this is something that I'm working on, and by the end of the year I would like to have 52 weeks of this. So 52 weeks of something that is my son's legacy for him, which is our family story. Well, that's it. Cozy caregiver cafe family. I hope that you've enjoyed this non-conventional episode, but I couldn't let this day go by without giving it the true attention and power that it deserves. There's so much that life has to offer all of us, and one of my favorite poems ends. It talks about how beautiful life is, and then it ends by saying simply, need to hold out your hand. So this podcast episode is truly my declaration in my heart of holding out my hand and fully excited and ready to embrace all that life has to offer. I love all of you. I hope that you're well, and thank you so so much for coming on this journey with me.